Total Pageviews

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I Know a Rock You Could Hide Under..Forever.

Yesterday, I was the voice of the People- taking a proper stand against skinny jeans and calling for their immediate extinction. Skinny jeans have such a special place of hatred in my heart- that today's post was actually the other half of yesterdays- except I felt the public outcry for help with the extinction deserved its own.

So, here is the rest of the list of people, places and things that I find particularly annoying. Because every once in a while, you just gotta get this stuff off your chest..

Nancy Grace: OMG, most annoying woman on the planet. Talks over any and everyone who might have a point, swoons over people who have an IQ below 25 who compliment her on how cute her twins are. NOT. Vile, vindictive and when I think that someone actually married and had sex with her.. I want to throw up in my own mouth. Twice.

Donald Trump: How can someone with so much brains have so much stupidity that somehow co-exist on a plane that teeters on paranoid schizophrenic and financial genius? Just, how? This guy has seriously lost his shit. His public obsession and comments about Obama as well his twitter feed have become fodder for even the most skilled psychiatrists. Someone please get this man some help. And a better weave.

Karl Rove: See Donald Trump.

Anyone That Does Zumba: Is this a glorified Macarena that assists those with no real rhythm and combines it with people who should not be wearing spandex?  Is this Flashdance/Fame meets Puerto Rico in the 80's? And 90's and.. now?  What is this? It's so incredibly painful to watch. So, I don't.

Joe Francis: Total tool. Urban Dictionary definition of "this guys a total tool" was created because Joe Francis exists. Enough said.

Pregnant People: Dear Pregnant People, Newsflash: You are not special. Being pregnant does not come with a license to become an attention whore! Stop wearing stupid shirts with large bows* and rubbing your stomachs and acting as if your holding a baby that is actually already in your arms. Enough with the pregnant PDA. The world will not lay down coats over mud puddles for you because chivalry IS DEAD and you're just like the rest of us. In fact, in 9 months, you will be one of "us" again except you will be even more unspecial because you're now at home with a wrecked body, screaming infant, in crusty sweatpants and tee shirt covered in vomit. Real special.

Mitt Romney: This guy gives me the serious creeps. The only words I can use to describe the cause behind that are stoic robotic puppet, glassy empty souless eyes, waxy weirdo Mormon required smile. Imagine if he won, people? I might have started to believe in Armageddon afterall.


Honorable Mentions: Chris Christie, Joan Rivers, THE KARDASHIANS, Dora the Explorer, Jersey Shore Cast, Giada DeLaurentiis, Tom Cruise, Rod Blagovich, Kobe Bryant, Rosie O'Donnell, Kanye West, and Cody Brown (from sister wives-because he's a giant d-bag whose not really famous enough for everyone to know him by name but famous enough of a d-bag that you will know him just because of that)..

Does anyone want to add to the list? Feel free to comment below..


*Gina pointed this out. And I thought- yeah they do wear stupid shirts with bows. WHY? Stop it people. You are not a giant present.