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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Do You Do the Walk of Shame?

Today I put a dollar in the Salvation Army Pot.

You know- the one with the person who stands next to it, RINGING THAT GOD DAMNED BELL INCESSANTLY?

Yeah, that.

Well today I stopped and asked the man with the bell.. WHY?? Why and.. How?

Me: Sir, can I ask you some questions?

Sir: Yes..

Me: How do you get this gig? Why do you ring that bell constantly- do they make you do this? Is there a "training" you go through that tells you to ring this bell non-stop?

Sir: (In Broken English) I get this job each year only at Christmas. Me ride bike. Sleep only three hours (holds up four fingers) a night. Yes, I ring bell.

Me: Huh?

Sir: Yes. (Smiling big)..

Me: Sir, Do you have dreams at night that you're still ringing this bell?

Sir: (Laughing) NOooo..  hahahaa..

Me:  (Also laughing) Well, I am going to put this money in the pot so that means you should STOP ringing the bell. I'm actually PAYING YOU to stop ringing this bell. The only time a bell should ring incessantly after I put money inside something is when I've won something. This is not Atlantic City. We are outside of Walmart. I have not won anything.


I put the money into the pot and he started ringing his bell like a mad man, laughing and carrying on.

He was so endearing, I couldn't even be annoyed. I wanted to get his picture for the blog because as we were talking, I knew I was going to have to tell you about this.

But it just somehow didn't feel right to ask. So, I didn't.

So it remains a mystery- the reason behind the incessant bell ringing.

Although, I guess I could always Google it.. But I won't.

I will tell you that my personal feeling is this:

This bell?  It's like a siren of guilt as you walk by. Poor, lonely cold person ringing a bell, begging for help for the poor and disadvantaged. Are you really gonna walk right past me right now while I'm ringing this bell at 400 decibels in FRONT of all these people-  who might see you walk past me without giving some cash? Remember! We are The Salvation Army! The incessant bell ringers! Donate now or else be publicly shamed the whole time you walk back to your car...

If only the poor bell ringers had Snuggies...