Today is Black Friday.
But guess what?
I DON'T CARE.
Because there is NO amount of money that I could save on anything that would justify or evoke any desire to stand in line with crowds of nauseating, obnoxious people who get high for sales.
On Black Friday, the safest and best place to be is at home, eating Turkey Tettrazini (Which- I'm sorry if you really are), watching these idiots on the news clobbering and stampeding over each other just to get inside for 50% off pajamas and craptastic items sold only at Wal-mart that we all cannot live without?
What is inside Wal-Mart that could ever make me act this way?
These people beat the shit out of eachother to get inside the store. They fight like trailer trash at a cock fight without realizing their co-pays at the hospital will be more than they saved in the first place. And, hello Charity Care?
The next thing you know, these jerk-offs are in the news over this stupidity and idiotic TV execs are lining up trying sign them up for their own reality show.
Happens All. The. Time.
Perfect example: This here is a woman named "Sweet Brown".
If you take the time to click these links in proper order.. I promise that you will laugh your ass off like you haven't in a long time.
This is the first video.. Which introduced Sweet Brown to the World..
THEN!! Here, is the funniest remix of such video that you will ever see.
Sidenote* I watch these regularly bc I firmly believe that intense laughter wards off cancer. I'm not sure anything has made me laugh harder than this in over five years.
Sweet Brown has now been awarded her own reality show.
Truthfully- and with guilt- I admit that I am SO looking forward to watching it. You know that shit will bring Nene Leakes- to the 100th power- without the money..
Might make for some reality tv I would actually watch-Project Ghetto Fabulous.
The fascination? I admit it. It's there. No shame in admitting that because.. I'm sure this woman will bring the funny.. She's got that shit on lock.
Got me to wondering. What do you think Sweet Brown is like in line on Black Friday? Hope you brought your brass knuckles, folks.
*Tags: Crunk Ass People, Craptastic Pajamas, Train Wrecks are Awesome.