Total Pageviews

Monday, October 21, 2013

On a More Serious Note..

As many of you internet friends know, I love to cook. Cooking for me-like many.. is an art form that allows you to escape the monotonous circles of thoughts, tasks, endless to do lists, whiny kids on your legs, horrible reality tv shows and.. the dreadful news.
True Life: I am a cookbook hoarder.
I am a recipe junkie.

In my endless quest for seeking something to satisfy my next foodie craving, I found something.

I found an essay written before a recipe I wanted to review.. and It touched me in a place that says all of the things I am feeling..yet says it so eloquently and thoughtfully with out any f bombs or seething anger.. (LOL)  .. It says what I think so many of us are feeling in so many ways.. deep down to our core.. but may not have the time, tools or... exact moment of realization to write ourselves..

So with that said.. I offer you this..  and thank you Alice Currah.


The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants: Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Pancakes

by Alice Currah on October 17, 2013
The heart wants what the heart wants.  I’ve been on an ongoing journey of intense reflecting, meditation, and going through the process of trying, like many of you, to figure out what exactly I am meant to do in life.  Much of this all started when my father passed away nearly 3 years ago.  Although I am not grieving the loss anymore, his death was a catalyst in helping me filter the importance of living a life consistent with what I believe and having the courage to continue to walk down this path.
The older I get (will be turning 40 next year) I realize that the optimism and hope I once had for people has eroded into acceptance that not only are people not perfect, they are in fact very broken.  The only saving grace about any of this is knowing my hope, joy, and peace does not directly come from people.  Instead, I rely solely on my faith that convinces me I never walk alone in this journey called life.

Another reality I’ve come to accept is that nothing surprises me anymore.  There are people hurting all around us, atrocities happening, and hearts breaking because we’ve become a collective culture of self perpetuated importance where we make self absorbed decisions with the hope of self gratification at the risk of putting our friends, family, jobs, etc at the alter of consequences which can change the lives of those around us, forever.  And I am not here to judge anyone but rather to point out that we are living in a digital age where we project not only is life good but that it’s great, as we whine our 1st world problems into clever passive aggressive social media status updates fishing for likes. This makes me so very sad.

Boundaries which used to be clearly black and white have become a gazillion shades of grey.**

Just read the news and you will find countless headlines which support my theory that people will make (often) stupid, irrational decisions because the heart wants what the heart wants regardless of all those people who will get bulldozed along the way.

But the good news is each day we have an opportunity to wake up and get off this crazy train and be the good guy.  The one who restores a little bit of sanity in a crazy world, shows a little compassion where hope is needed, and extends open arms of love and grace to those who are in need.  We don’t have to settle for this me-first driven culture.  Instead, we can choose to live outside the box and seek a life beyond a me-first world.

We can make a decision to live courageously today by being intentional in our words, actions, and thoughts.  We can choose to live a life where we value other people beyond our own needs to be satisfied.  And no, I am not talking about letting other people take advantage of us so we can play the supporting role of a door mat in the story of their lives.  No, I’m talking taking the reigns of our own life and to give out of the overflow of our own lives to be an impactful positive influence in the lives of others which cannot happen until we go through the often painful process of self transformation from the inside out.  To look inside the deepest part of who we are and to deal with all the ugliness which only serves to decay us into numb self centered people is a good step in the right direction.

I don’t pretend to know the answers to anything.  All I know is the heart wants what the heart wants.  And I want my heart, and the hearts of my children, to choose what is good, lovely, true, and real and seek adventure on the road less traveled.  It’s a lifelong adventure with valley lows and mountain top highs.  But I wouldn’t have it any other way.


**My favorite line.

Alice offers a recipe for pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes after the essay.. if you want to view the page.. click here:


What I'm really all about are these:

I'm serious about my red curry. I'm even more serious about my red curry when it has clams...

Thank you Alice! I think I love you..


Friday, July 19, 2013

In four years ... My neck will be part of my cleavage. No one told me.. til now...

I'M NOT EVEN GONNA type some crap about why I haven't blogged in months..

I'm just f***ing busy.. busy being overwhelmed, with an eternally messy house and a kid who thinks he owns the laptop every time it opens. YouTube MUST magically appear. That's what you get for using YouTube to entertain your kids, you lazy f***s. Myself included.

* Side note: If you're poor like me and cannot afford babysitters.. you get a ..kind of sort of  pass. Afterall, YouTube is a close second. It's also a plus if you're not stealing the wi-fi from your neighbors.

Moving on...

You know you're losing it and throwing in the towel when you're kids are coloring the top of the toilet seat with crayons and you're like who gives a f***? I just need 30 more seconds to finish brushing my teeth.. as long as the lids closed.. it's FINE. Yeah.. fine. You wanna dump a whole bunch of Advil and Q-Tips into the bath tub? SUUURE! Go ahead. As long as it buys more silence.. I'm down.

I feel like like lately .. I'm throwing in the towel A LOT. And guess what? I DON'T CARE. 

Because.. I can't care. I have to choose between my sanity and a semi-clean house. My sanity and a schedule. My sanity and ...laundry? My sanity and a toilet seat cover free from black crayons?

Which is worse?
The fact that my apartment has a pink toilet seat or that it's colored on in black crayon?

I wanted to come to y blog to tell you that I'm reading a book by Nora Ephron.. Titled, "I Feel Bad About My Neck... And Other Thoughts On Being A Woman"..

Normally, these "thoughts on being a woman" books nauseate me.

A lot.

Not interested.

But something about the cover.. I'm a sucker for a good cover..So.. I picked it up and read a few sentences. I think this can apply to me.. I thought. Nice cover.. witty, funny, easy reading, about aging.. and since I just turned 39......

Ok.. to the point..

Nora Ephron writes that she went to a dermatologist about her aging neck.. only to find out that there's not much they can do for the aging, sagging neck. The dermatologist told her that the neck starts to go at age 43.. and there's not much that can be done to revive it to it's glory..

There's an excerpt that I think is good enough to share with you that I'm willing to retype it here and now.. even after two.. (ok, FOUR) glasses of wine.. That's serious effort, people.

"According to my dermatologist, the neck starts to go at forty-three, and that's that. You can put make-up on your face and concealer under your eyes and dye on your hair, you can shoot collagen and Botox and Restylane into your wrinkles and creases, but short of surgery, there's not a damn thing you can do about a neck. The neck is a dead giveaway. Our faces are lies and our necks are the truth. You have to cut open a redwood tree to see how old it is, but you wouldn't have to if it had a neck."

Holy Crap.

That shit was... SO TRUE.  Superficial.  Deep.  Shallow.  Real.

Yeah Real.

Real Shitty.

I have about four years left til it's all turtlenecks and scarves from here on out.

I need technology to catch up with vanity.

I also think I need vanity to catch up with my sweat pants and greasy hair .. but that might be a whole other topic.

So.. Our faces are lies.. and our necks are the truth.... Where does that leave the thighs?

Just wondering.

These are questions I might need answers to.

And Nora Ephron's dermatologist said I only have about four years to figure it out...