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Monday, December 3, 2012

Paula Deen Has a Potty Mouth & I Love It

Do you like watching The Food Network?

I used to love it.. Then I kind of started getting sick of it.. Then I became more and more nauseated with it..

Now? I can barely stomach 3 minutes of it.

There's only so many times I can:

Hear Ina Garten telling me to use the "Good" vanilla.

Look at the state of Bobby Flay's fingernails while he pours honey all over spicy things.

Look, watch, listen to Giada De Laurentiis tell me about her "creamy" concoctions while acting absolutely perfect and never making a mess in the kitchen. EVER.

Stomach Mario Batali? Talented man, great recipes. Also? Huge ass ego, disgusting attire, creepy orange crocs & smile.. So- I watch on mute- with remote on standby.

I want to give you a recipe for a good basic red sauce.. Because I believe that most people are intimidated by it- but a basic red sauce for pasta dishes is simple and like a foundation you can build on. It's super easy and anyone can do it.

Basic Red Sauce

2 large cans of diced tomatoes (plain, without spices bc those taste horrid)

4 or more cloves of sliced fresh garlic

About 3-4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

2 tablespoons of butter
1/2 teaspoon (or more) cayenne pepper

1/2 teaspoon (or more) of red pepper flakes

1/2 cup (or more) of chopped fresh basil

Salt & pepper to taste


Saute the sliced garlic in heated live oil and melted butter over medium-high heat til lightly brown.. Stir it continuously so it doesn't burn.

Add tomatoes and stir.

Then add the cayenne and red pepper flakes, salt and pepper. I like to add about 1 tsp of kosher salt and adjust with more if needed.

Let simmer for about 15 mins on low heat stirring occasionally.

Add basil at the end as you turn the heat off.

Other things to try adding are:

Parmesan cheese
Kalamata olives
Bacon Anchovies
Sausage or cooked meatballs
Smoked cheese to top the pasta


I made different variations of this and we have it with linguine or any other pasta.

This is a base recipe that you can add things to and make up your own. It's so simple to make a fast an awesome red sauce. So, just wanted to share that with you.

I also want to share something funny. Hilarious, actually.

If you know Paula Deen- and have watched her show, you will find this so funny. I swear I almost peed my pants and then I went on to watch parts 2 and 3.. (which I recommend).. And then? I didn't get this crap up to my blog til midnight!

I can't even put the effort into trying to make this funny like I wanted to because my son is STILL up, hanging on my legs and trying to slam the keyboard with fists of fury..

Click here for hilarity:

OMG, I loved this.

Also funny: