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Friday, May 7, 2010

do you want to be my internet friend? circle yes or no

where do i start? for the last 6 months of life, i have been schooled hard and fast (but not really fast) on the sudden death--i mean life- change in your lifestyle that comes along with being a new parent.

god bless you single mothers, mothers with multiple children and most of all- you smart women out there whose worlds are still intact because you decided not to have children. do not question this decision. let that biological clock tick and tick while you continue to check the one on your own wall that says it's time for cocktails, dinner out, going to the gym, a NAP (whats that?) or any other activity that you were once able to enjoy at the drop of a hat...

i dont even know where to start telling you, my new internet friends- all about how life is very different now..if i had the money, i'd hold a funeral for my old life- because it is dead.

before you rush to cauterize your ovaries along with my friend christine..i might be able to help you to cement your decision here on my blog.

be warned: read at your own risk. because i've learned that ignorance really is bliss...

uhm, until you have a baby.

bliss then becomes finding a trustworthy babysitter, eating a meal uninterrupted by tugs, moans and whines, more than 5 hours of sleep, drinking wine before noon - i mean 5:00.. clean underwear, dishes &/or silverware... i know, it's bad people. i'm not lying to you.

so let's drink to the start of this blog (afterall, it's almost noon) and i hope that i can provide you with some entertainment, insight, and that many people will eventually want to place their ads for tubal ligations, cases of discount wine and antidepressants on my blog.. you know-so the checks will start pouring in..

i'm just sayin..

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are too funny... yet... serious...

Anonymous said...

Please blog more often. You are so funny and entertaining!