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Monday, November 19, 2012

F**k You, Skinny Jeans!

There's something I've been meaning to blog about. This topic- eventually got me to thinking about other related topics.. Which I will save for another post. But--


OMG, I hate skinny jeans with the passion & fury of 10,000 burning suns that burst into a supernova!

I don't care what anyone says! Skinny jeans are stupid, ugly, do NOT make anyone look "skinny"- EVER.

Skinny jeans are a crime of fashion that did not look good in 1984.. And they do not look good now. What the hell is wrong with people?

Who is doing this to us? Why? What is next? Stone/acid washed skinny jeans? I CAN'T ..

Please someone make them stop.

The only thing that is worse than skinny jeans on a woman is skinny jeans on a MAN.

                               CREEPIEST. THING. EVER.
CAUTION: Skinny jeans can seriously handicap a persons gaydar.

Not manly. Loss of masculinity- for life. Even if you only tried them on.


I kept waiting and hoping and -almost even praying- that skinny jeans would die a hard and fast death. But Noooooo! They're just getting started with this horrid trend. Now it's skinny jeans in obnoxious colors, skinny jeans with zippers and chains & a Mr. T starter kit.

And what's with the belt? They're so incredibly tight and awkward and .. wrong. Someone please explain the need for a belt?

Holy crap. Please stop the bleeding.
If you for any reason think this looks somewhat ok or even good, maybe you should consider having your head examined.

I've asked around. I'm not alone in this. Half of the world is on the edge of their seats waiting for skinny jeans to become the red headed step child to - who the f**k knows what.. Parachute pants!?

Get a grip people. Get a mirror. Skinny jeans are the worst epidemic that ever happened to fashion. Followed by parachute pants. So, naturally.. They're up next.

Wait for it.. It's coming. I promise.
*tags: douchebaggery, homicidal inducing rampage, why are you doing this to us?


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The other day I went to try on a pair of corduroy-type pants and they were SKINNY corduroy. I started to panic as I tore through the whole pile looking for regular fit pants.. NONE. I cannot deal.

WHAT?????? What next? Skinny cargo pants??

Skinny jeans MUST STOP. Who can we write to about this?

Not to mention, my 8 year old wants SKINNY jeans bc she wants to be SKINNY. Very bad for her image to think she just wants to be skinny as opposed to healthy.

Maybe I should invent HEALTHY jeans? lol..