Yesterday I was at Costco.
On a SUNDAY.
Because holy crap -I like to inflict torture upon myself and/or feel like I'm in some overcrowded Asian city without actually having to travel.
Costco and I have a love/hate relationship. I love them because they sell cheap wine and tasty shrimp. And because they have normal staff who seem to have their shit together. I have never seen a lazy Costco employee. These people are hustlers. The lines move fast like a factory in China.
I sometimes hate it there because I feel like too many of the customers are like rude foreigners touring an American Warehouse. You are invisible to them and they will not cower to any form of a social norm. What's that??
But- I can't break up with Costco!
Whenever I am there all rational thought goes out the window- almost.
It's like they have everything for sale you didn't realize you wanted or needed-until you got there.
Suddenly, I'm pondering the need for 25 lbs of meat, 6 loaves of bread, a giant pop-up tent, tons of socks, pots & pans, exotic plants, a tool set, giant vats of lotion & vitamins, another coat, sheet sets, pillows, comforters and new tires!
Except! I really don't.
So I try to make my way through the throngs of people with my air craft carrier sized shopping cart- to get what I came for.
This is where the hate part of the relationship comes into play. The people who stand in line like it's a food ration- waiting for the free samples of various Costco foods. They park their carts mid-aisle, and stand there blocking traffic for 1/18th of an ounce of crab dip.
OMG. I WANT TO KILL THESE PEOPLE.
I want to ram the backs of their ankles with my cart. I want to scream in their faces "What the hells the matter with you? Have you never seen food before!?"
Costco also now sells vacations, cars, urns & caskets.
Yeah. I guess that's cool. You can be buried with your comfy Costco feather down pillows and sheet set.. Waaay better than a Snuggie.
Holy Crap- I am so tired right now that I must abruptly end this post- before anyone gets me started about The Snuggie.