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Monday, November 26, 2012

Please Don't Say You Own a Snuggie..

Yesterday I was at Costco.


Because holy crap -I like to inflict torture upon myself and/or feel like I'm in some overcrowded Asian city without actually having to travel.

Costco and I have a love/hate relationship. I love them because they sell cheap wine and tasty shrimp. And because they have normal staff who seem to have their shit together. I have never seen a lazy Costco employee. These people are hustlers. The lines move fast like a factory in China.

I sometimes hate it there because I feel like too many of the customers are like rude foreigners touring an American Warehouse. You are invisible to them and they will not cower to any form of a social norm. What's that??  

But- I can't break up with Costco!


Whenever I am there all rational thought goes out the window- almost.

It's like they have everything for sale you didn't realize you wanted or needed-until you got there.

Suddenly, I'm pondering the need for 25 lbs of meat, 6 loaves of bread, a giant pop-up tent, tons of socks, pots & pans, exotic plants, a tool set, giant vats of lotion & vitamins, another coat, sheet sets, pillows, comforters and new tires!

Except! I really don't.

So I try to make my way through the throngs of people with my air craft carrier sized shopping cart- to get what I came for.

This is where the hate part of the relationship comes into play. The people who stand in line like it's a food ration- waiting for the free samples of various Costco foods. They park their carts mid-aisle, and stand there blocking traffic for 1/18th of an ounce of crab dip.


I want to ram the backs of their ankles with my cart. I want to scream in their faces "What the hells the matter with you? Have you never seen food before!?"

Costco also now sells vacations, cars, urns & caskets.


Yeah. I guess that's cool. You can be buried with your comfy Costco feather down pillows and sheet set.. Waaay better than a Snuggie.

Holy Crap- I am so tired right now that I must abruptly end this post- before anyone gets me started about The Snuggie.

Just, NO.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So I'm sitting here with my Snuggie, able to be warm AND hold my popcorn.. Amused by your blog of course. I feel the same way about BJs. Best. Store. Ever.

Who doesn't need 32 yogurts and a 16 pack of floss??? You are going to use these things EVENTUALLY I tell myself. And with the little bundles of joy living in my house and consuming all my food I NEED 200 pieces of chicken nuggets and 10 pounds of bacon a WEEK! Lol no really... I'm not joking.

The thing is that I always manage to spend $200-300 and then wonder what the heck I bought. With all the money we spend WHY can't we get adequate boxes or bags for the food??? That annoys me. These dinky little half shoe boxes don't cut it BJs!!

Other than that it is pure love...